Monday, January 31, 2011

Epistolary Novel

Dear Sir,
I regret to inform you that the loose bound letters you sent
Have too many exclamation points to have been written by me.
Perhaps you can find that author in the stagnant room with you
Between the evaporating pencil marks and cyclical conversations.
Don’t let another utterance of the missing pages pass your lips.
They are unnecessary; the end of the novel speaks for itself.
From one starving bard to another,
I advise you don’t get your hopes up at the publishing office this time.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Taste of Still Saliva

I had no one to share the haunting yellow moon with
So I am saving it under my tongue until we speak again.
Each shard of my heart mimics my misplaced laughter and fury.
An oddity of madness, I turn mothers’ eyes to sorrow.
Like thick caramel, I have but to savor the promise of the finite.

Postcautionary Steps

If the ice beneath my feet
Successfully stole the role of friction
Like you have taken the reliance of time
My skull would crack at the seams.
Should I wake up
I won’t remember the reasons.
If I slumber yet
Crisp lab coats would gather anxiously
To dissect, determine, discover.
When the veins in my brain
Have been properly catalogued Dear
The scalpels and clipboards will move to my heart
And the other side of yours.
For this reason alone, I step lightly.

Headphones

I walk alone these days.
I take my duty seriously
As the only one who sees the crisp of the day.
I cross the train tracks
Where a man had died just yesterday.
They say he had headphones in
Hindsight is a bitch.
I smile to myself
Because no one knows where I am
Only you would know where to look.
Goodbye doesn’t stand a chance
Despite the plans they’ve woven.
Are they fastening chains or safety nets?
I step out with one headphone in.

Passing a Funeral

I felt embarrassed,
Because as I walked
I ran my hands along a tree branch
Admiring the pattern that tiny mouths had made in the leaves
Like a mist on a cool day.
And a family gathered across the fence
To bury a loved one that had passed.
I thought back to a boy
I had known once
Who died some Summer
When we were fourteen.
I kept silent
Because he had bullied me
And I never learned to turn the other cheek.
What could either of us have known about life and death
Without feeling the sting of either?
And I am walking home
Passing a funeral
Walking on.

Photograph

A blurry figure stands
In the past, in the bottom left corner.
And the field is glowing
With dried grass, dusty footprints
And the smell of fire just before the spark.
Beyond the field is a blur of lurking green trees
Combined to make a Washington Peak
Suffocated by clouds.
I cannot see before nor behind.
All I have is this photograph,
The frozen present of the past. 

Lost and Found

I turn left when my destination is right
To feel the thrill of being
Where I am not scheduled
Where no one would think to find me.
I turn around because I remember that you’re not here.
The next wrong turn I make is unintentional
The sting reminds me that lost and found
Aren’t my decisions anymore.
Cursed with being where I am not
And not wanting to be where I am
My eyes slide around the room
Never to settle on the gaze of an acquaintance.
This may be the breaking point. 

Only Eyes

My heart shatters
And the pieces run across the floor.
You can gather them
Clench them in your fists
Until they reach the bones in your fingers.
You can come to me
But I swear,
I’m nothing but eyes
And deceptive smiles
That I learn from watching
the sun each night.
For what of a day
Merits the closing curtain
Of colors and beauty?
Regardless.
Life happens on the horizon
And I’m lost in the middle.

Rita's Car

Rita’s car
Didn’t expect me
And like the taco man
Didn’t know how to react
To the tears from a thirty two
Minute phone call.
Goodbye could never be sufficient.
Reluctantly
I let your messages
Trickle out of my inbox.
The rattling radio plays “Just the Way You Are.”
I can’t help but feel that
Love songs have a new voice
A different sound.
I think
I want to be an artist.
Have my name in the paper
Towards the back
Where only you would find it.
Or an author
So you could read and understand
Every comma
Because I never told you
That Sage knocked the bumper
Off of the car
That I learned a new song
On the guitar.
For now
It has to be enough
To know you are wondering
And the string
Cannot be tampered with.

Heart Flurries

Regretfully
Two tongues can only catch
So many snowflakes.
Your tongue tastes sweeter
But is just as difficult to attain.
We spin in the flurries
Looking back
The snowmelt reminds us
Of the places we’ve been.
A memory sends a tear down my cheek.
It freezes before you can wipe it away
A stinging reminder
That the only footprints here
Are mine.

Come Naturally

Tears evade me
Instead, secrets cover my eyes
Like layers of snow that hide
The lines on the street.
You could navigate regardless
“It comes naturally” you’d say
Like how the wind knows
When to howl
Or wait in silence.
The bustling café
Familiar faces
Attractive Spanish men
Spinning memories from their tongues
Can’t pull my eyes
From watching myself sink
With every snowflake.
I pack my thoughts and things
Set out into the storm
Alone.

Unbelonging

Bold stencil letters read
ROLLE A.C.
And inform us that this trashcan
Belongs here.
It is tended to
A clean bag taught against its lip.
It niches into the corner
I am niched beside it.
Niched on my left hand
Is a ring that reminds you
I belong to someone else.
Next to me,
Your boots don’t belong to your feet
And your unbelonging fills your head
Dripping from your eyes and tongue.
I would take it if I could
The sting and the uncertainty.
But the uncertainty
Is the hardest part
So we wait
For time to erode it.

Contextual Implications

Alone
Nearly sounds better
Than the pull between
Hands, eyes, generations.
The lines I know
Have washed away in the sour rain.
Condemned by contextual implications
I wander from blocks of sidewalk
To vines that cut my feet.
Looking away
Doesn’t stop the bleeding.
The circles I’m running
Are wearing the patterns off the walls.
I fear they were right
All along.

Resist

The light from the moon
Flirts with the clouds
As they slide by.
How could it resist?
Fog from our breath
Tickles our faces like scarves
As we sing to the street.
Freezing feet send us
To the neglected elevator.
The pressure of our voices
Causes a slow rise and fall.
I’d hate to smother the sound
But how could I resist?

Spider Web Mustache

A spider web mustache
Clings to my face.
I didn’t see it coming
Didn’t see it coming.
Now I grasp for what
I can’t see
And regret the progress
I’ve undone.

Panic

My heartbeat chokes me
Sirens howl in my ears.
Where are you?
I panic
Pace
Force a breath.
The sky glares
Orange
With embers of regret.
Panic
Pace
Breath
Check the door.
Where are you?
The dog hides
Watches.
You aren’t home
I am not okay.

About You

If I wrote about you
I would say something about belonging
About wandering through trees recovering from fire
Where none of the branches could support you.
Tell the story of the corners of your eyes
The secret held there.
Mention the way a stream cuts at a bank.
Note the chord of missing
That reverberated in your throat.
Admit that I might understand
And nothing can be done.

Sand, Nets, Salt, Sky, Turn, Breath

Dead-white trees lay matted in the sand
Laying in wait, as nets
To capture the life of the salt
And sky.
The line between the sea and ground turns
And changes with every breath.

The sailor steadies his breath
Squints to see the grey sand.
His wrist turns
With strength to secure the spoil of the nets
Silver scales that mimic the sky
And the weight and smell of salt.

His hands are white and hard as salt
His thoughts short as breaths.
He knows the hard grey of the sky
The weight of the sand
The fray of the nets
The way the ocean threatens and turns.

The boat and sea take turns
Sending blows of water and salt.
Urgency glances from the need of the nets
To the endless necessity of breath.
Hazel eyes speckled like sand
Bargain with the tremulous sky.

The sailor knows the fume of the sky.
He turns
But finds no companion in the sand.
Images pierce his memory like salt
Stiffens a breath.
He finds himself knotted in nets.

Waves crash over him and restrain him like nets.
He loses sight of the sky
Loses prospect of breath.
He thrashes and turns
Till he is overwhelmed by the grey salt
And forced to return to the sand.

The sailor lies against the sand, caught in its glistening nets
Where the salt of the earth meets the salt of the sky
And waves and water turn to vapor and breath.

Literacy

My thoughts drip from the walls
Puddle on the floor
With nothing to hold them
No names to define them.
Pink fingers stroke
Metal and leather
Books with titles
Grown over with time.
Boxes of words I’ve never read.

Tonight

Stars stretch far beyond
The capacity of my eyes and thought.
The arc of my back matches the form of the car
My shoulder blades quiet the window.
Sharp shadows of a familiar tree line
Tuck me into my bed of here and now.
The air in my lungs feels fresh and uncertain
Yet my thoughts grow numb at its presence. 

Dismal Dismissal

It’s another nice day
That may be crushed under my heavy musing.
You are an allegory for every impossible story
Because I can’t stop the wind.
But I could almost imagine a still tree
A struggling seed
I would never tell you.
Besides
Sometimes I imagine that you already know
See it in my averted eyes
Make cellophane of my best kept secret.
Can poetry be so vague?
No one else has given it so much thought
And I am a fool for doing so.

Subsidence

Your fingers fight your veins
And you shake,
Scare me to death
And leave.
Neither of us can stand to look at me
I am not honest with anyone
all of their words condemn me
Echo through my mind
“you could have been”.
Could have been
To say it all started with a lie
That flashed between you and me.
I knew better.
Thick clouds of heat cover my eyes
Water beats at my back
I know I will not sleep tonight.

Wenn nicht anders angegeben...

Unless noted otherwise, the purpose of this blog is to give my poetry a place to breathe. Comments are welcome, I will respond to any questions as well. They are posted roughly chronologically. <3